Take Care

It never occurred to you
that you were allowed.
You thought, believed, more powerful
others must take care of you.
You lost out, folks unaware (unconcerned)
of what you needed
when you were a helpless child.
Too sad.
You’re not a child anymore.
One result of becoming adult,
you can take your control.
Make good ends to meanness,
bad that occurred back then.
So what do you need?
Weeks, months, years to cry?
Endless deep-seeded weeping.
Churn up and out all the grieving
chewed and swallowed, kept to fester inside.
It never occurred to you
to digest, divest, excrete,
compost for better growth.
You know, the process
to extract nuggets of golden
from all you have taken in.
Compact, express, spread dross to
fertilize our common pasture.
It’s not so much that you are
what you eat,
as what you assimilate as your own.
Did you choose well?
Did you repeat your scripted role of
naughty child deserving only punishment?
You didn’t want that gooey
sweetness, tooth-decaying
Your yearning mind displays those scenes
in which the King and Queen decree you
spanked for misbehavior
until you cry
and swear you’ll never
do it again.  Then
hugged and taken in,
with all forgiven.
You crave to matter to people
who no longer exist (or never did as in
your fantasies).
You want to matter to figments
who natter away all the damned day,
berate your shortcomings and sins.
Let us begin again,
reconsidered expectation.
You can’t win if
you’ve taken the loser’s face.
This world, this human race, what’s real,
here is your share —
whatever you make of it.
You do need to be cared for.
You need to care,
to take care of,
be aware of the best you can do,
to nurture you.



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