state of intent

Streaming in and out of consciousness.
I don’t know what I know. I feel,
but fleetingly. I feel exhilaration and fear.
I feel so abysmally sad, so
ecstatically unbound, so small and insignificant,
so rebellious and angry,
so tired,
so endlessly used up,
so guilty, so abused, so resigned, so itchy
to be free, so overwhelmed,
so stagnant, so magickal, so impossible,
dangerously close to the edge yet happy to be here
dancing on the head of a
pin too small to do other than hover.
There is magic.
There is the ability to send out energy and have it return
as your heart’s desire.
There is a magical path that will take us there
once we have the courage and grace to find it.
Like the end of the rainbow
with its pot of gold,
tied up in koans, hidden between
The only thing I know to do is listen.

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